Da Thugged Out Adventures of Naruto
by Peanut Untouchable
Summary: While thangs may start up aiiight fo' Naruto, certain events will unfold dat will shock tha core of his straight-up beliefs. Will Naruto overcome adversity, or succumb ta tha darkness?
1. Chapter 1

Wuz crackalackin' yo. Hoes call me Peanut Untouchable, dis is mah story. I'd like ta start off by sayin dat I be glad you've taken tha time outta yo' busy dizzle ta come n' read mah story. I hope dis rap both captivates n' inspires yo thugged-out ass. Please review if you have tha time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto do.

* * *

Dat shiznit was a warm n' sunny day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Birdz was chirping, lil pimps was frollickin about. What a funky-ass dope backdrop ta start off a story. This particular rap starts off up in tha laid back hood known as Konohagakure no Sato, or up in Gangsta, tha Village Hidden up in tha Leaves. Where up in Konoha do our rap start off, you ask, biatch? Why, atop a monument, of course. What monument, you ask, biatch? Well tha Hokage Monument, of course.

Up danglin atop tha majestic landmark, was a lil' boy, not just any lil' pimp mind you yo, but a funky-ass pimp clad up in orange. With deep blue eyes n' blonde afro as bright as tha sun, dis pimp was like a odditizzle round these parts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. What was dis pimp bustin danglin off tha Hokage monument, you ask, biatch? Well da thug was vandalizin it of course biaaatch! Sprawled across tha grand monument was various kindz of scribbles, drawings, n' obscene remarks.

Naruto was like proud as a muthafucka of his dirty ass ta say tha least. This was it, dis was his crownin achievment. In just a scant few minutes, tha entire hood would know just what tha fuck Uzumaki Naruto was capable of. "And done!" Naruto exclaimed as he made tha finishin touches on his so-called masterpiece.

Just as da thug was bout ta climb back up tha monument n' go on wit his bangin regular day, dat schmoooove muthafucka heard a gangbangin' frighteningly cold voice.

"What'cha doin', Naruto?" came tha man's, whoz ass Naruto now realized was none other than his thugged-out academy instructor, Umino Iruka, request.

"N-nothing, Iruka-sensei, honest!" came tha boyz reply. Naruto may done been all dem thangs yo, but a phat liar da thug was not.

"yo ass is goin ta clean dis mess up, PRONTO!"

* * *

After minutez of work, it looked like Naruto had made some straight-up progress up in cleanin up tha mess dat schmoooove muthafucka had made. Iruka glanced all up in tha boy, n' afta hearin his wild lil' frustrated hustla mutter all dem curses under his breath, decided ta interject. "Naruto... why exactly do you do thangs like this?" "So playas will notice mah dirty ass." tha orange clad pimp replied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"All Y'allz always ignorin me, or sayin dat I be bout ta never be anythang up in tha game yo, but dis gots they attention, right?!" Iruka was taken aback, then smiled softly. "Yo ass know, playas would probably respect you a lil' bit mo' if you channeled dis creativitizzle up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different way." Naruto raised a eyebrow. "How tha fuck so?" "Well maybe yo' time dropped playin pranks would be mo' betta spent, hmm, I don't give a gangbangin' fuck... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Studying, biatch? Payin attention up in class, biatch? Trainin like?"

Naruto scoffed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"Jeez, not dis again."

Iruka chuckled softly.

"Yo, Naruto?"

"What?"

"How tha fuck bout when you done here, I take you up fo' some ramen?" Naruto didn't need any other motivation ta finish than dis shit. Like a rocket, tha pimp took off, cleanin every last muthafuckin spot his schmoooove ass could see.

"Heh, heh. That gots his ass going."

* * *

Naruto n' Iruka sat at Ichiraku Ramen, on tha fuckin' down-lowly, or up in Narutoz sake, loudly consumin tha ramen they had just ordered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"Naruto," Iruka started, "what exactly is you goin ta do when you do git tha attention you crave?" Naruto looked up n' slurped up his bangin remain ramen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

"I be gonna be Hokage. Not just any Hokage yo, but tha top billin of dem all! Da dem hoes will gotta respect me!"

Silence.

"Yo ass know you can't just become Hokage by goofin off n' playin pranks. Well shiiiit, it takes mad bullshit n' dedication." Iruka lectured. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yeah, yeah, I've heard all dat shiznit before."

"Listen, Naruto, you peep dis head crew here," Iruka holla'd signalin ta tha headband dat adorn his wild lil' forehead, "this is tha symbol of a shinobi, a loyal soldier of Konoha. Once you git this, then maybe you can be thinkin bout becomin Hokage." Naruto scratched his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"Yo, Iruka-sensei?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I wear it, biatch? Just fo' a funky-ass bit?"

"After all I just holla'd, biatch? No way up in hell!"

"Aww, don't be mean Iruka-Sensei!"

"NO!"

While dis scene unfolded, lil did Naruto n' Iruka know, dat there was a shy, pale-eyed, lil' hoe watchin tha events unfold. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"Naruto-kun..."

* * *

Well how tha fuck was that, biatch? Did yo dirty ass trip off it, biatch? I hope you muthafuckas did, I know dat shiznit was a bit shirt, I be bout ta try ta make tha future chaptas a shitload longer.

Well, gotz a phat day!


	2. Chapter 2

Yo, muthafuckas. I be back wit another chapter n' shit. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto do.

* * *

_"Naruto-kun..."_

A blonde haired boy woke in a cold sweat. Wherever he'd been moments before, he certainly wasn't there anymore. "That dream... it was so vivid, so lifelike." The boy lay on the floor, covered in rags poorly substituting for blankets, a lone fan whirring over his head, in a dank, pitch-black room. No windows, one door. The boy picked himself up, then let out a long, bellowing yawn. Betraying his expectations, the room took what seemed like a lifetime to traverse. With each step, the boy felt sharp pains pulsating through his legs, while these couldn't have lasted more than mere seconds, he felt like years had passed.

The boy fell to his knees, letting a sharp gasp escape his lungs. "My legs..." Slowly raising his hand, the boy grasped the knob. Desperately twisting and turning the cold, metallic object, his worst fears were confirmed. 'Locked!'

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The boy found himself punching the door with all his might. He didn't know if anyone was around, he didn't care. He was cold, angry, afraid, paranoid. Where was he? Why was he here?

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Despite his repeated efforts, the door still stood there, completely intact and unscathed. The boy lowered his head in defeat, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "I don't know. I don't know anything!"

_"...Naruto-kun."_

"Wha-who's there?" the boy turned his head around, hastily scouting the room. "I can't see a thing, where are you?"

_"...Naruto-kun."_

"Wh-who are you? Who's Naruto? Wh-what are you talking about?" The boy was confused, desperate. "A-ANSWER ME!"

Silence.

_'Who are you? Wh-who am I?' _

The boy had no name, no real recollection of anything. Despite this; he could talk, he could think, he could feel.

"H-how? I just don't understand..."

The boy was getting tired, he couldn't fight that. His mind was begging himself to stay awake, but his body just wouldn't comply. Closing his eyes, he let sleep overcome him.

_"Things will be clear soon enough."_

* * *

Dat shiznit was tha dizzle of tha graduation exam. Naruto was straight-up trippin ta say tha least. 'Bunshin no Jutsu, biatch? Thatz mah most shitty skill!' Naruto steeled his dirty ass, 'It aint nuthin but all gravy, I can do this!'

Naruto stepped up, facin both his cold-ass mackdaddys, Iruka n' Mizuki. "BUNSHIN NO JUSTU!" Naruto screamed, while struttin tha necessary hand seal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. A puff of smoke enveloped tha boy, leavin behind one straight-up dead lookin clone.

"FAIL!"

"This his cold-ass third try, Iruka, n' da ruffneck did cook up a cold-ass lil clone. Why not let his ass pass?" Mizuki holla'd, much ta tha reassurizzle of Naruto. "No. Everyone else pimped three functionizzle clones, Naruto only made one fo' realz. A dead one at dis shit."

"I can't pass his muthafuckin ass."

* * *

Naruto sat on a lone swing, isolated from his crazy-ass mo' successful classmates fo' realz. A slew of emotions overcomin his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. Anger, jealously, n' most of all, sorrow. Da cheers, tha approval, why couldn't dat schmoooove muthafucka have that?

"That kid, on tha swing..."

"Yeah, itz dat kid, tha pimpin' muthafucka tha only one whoz ass failed."

"Good, we can't have his ass becomin a shinobi."

"Dude is, afta all-"

"We can't rap bout that!"

After tha crowd cleared out, Naruto made his way back ta his crib yo. Dude was upset yo, but da thug wasn't locked n loaded ta give up. Not yet.

"Naruto!"

"Mizuki-sensei?"

Naruto was relieved, he finally had one of mah thugs ta rap to. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someon whoz ass sympathized wit his muthafuckin ass.

"Naruto, you must KNOW why Iruka is tha way he is yo. His muthafathas was capped when da thug was young, dat schmoooove muthafucka had ta do every last muthafuckin thang by his dirty ass."

"But why do he always pick on me son?"

"Dude probably sees his dirty ass up in yo thugged-out ass."

That took Naruto surprise. Iruka saw his dirty ass up in Naruto?

"Dude probably wants you ta become phat up in a real way. Try ta KNOW his vibe, you both like similar."

"I still wish I graduated..."

"Well, then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. How tha fuck bout I rap a secret?"


End file.
